[ Jing Yuan is not the type of person who is easily surprised by much; even with the memories being put on display, he finds himself not inclined to feel like his world has been sent off-kilter. Instead, other emotions swirl up inside of him until they abruptly evaporate—the sort of startingly calm emptiness that seems to crawl in from a void.
There is a strange pain in his heart at his earlier memories being shown without his permission. It isn't like he has anything to hide, but he certainly doesn't go around telling personal things about himself.
(Is it a weakness, for someone to look upon, and see hints of his hesitance? To see any of that? He almost feels himself bristle at the thought. But, even that feels unreasonable with Solomon's actions, and he decides he simply feels tired.
Things will never turn to what they will be, and the void within his heart feels deeper for it. The warmth of that hand feels painfully dizzying even if he knows it will be temporary; and he thinks he might have simply smiled, in the past and agreed, moving past the subject.
For once, he feels himself lean tentatively into comfort, laid gentle upon him by Solomon's hand, by those simple words.) ]
Mm.
I suppose you would be correct.
[ Jing Yuan says, though it feels like he's a little distant from where he is when he does. The story doesn't end there. Because of course it doesn't.
Anyone he considered dear to him at that time had all been gone, and the weight of the remembrance of that loneliness feels suffocating. ]
It is a weight that seems inevitable. Perhaps...time and time again, given that it is my turn to pass onto teachings myself. Though, it might be unreasonable to hope that my own student might never have to face the difficult choice I had done so alone.
But, if he must, then so he shall.
...Even if it means that for certain, not everyone should have to walk along a path so solitary at every turn. That is what you have been doing even now, since you have been out here for quite awhile yourself, is it not?
no subject
There is a strange pain in his heart at his earlier memories being shown without his permission. It isn't like he has anything to hide, but he certainly doesn't go around telling personal things about himself.
(Is it a weakness, for someone to look upon, and see hints of his hesitance? To see any of that? He almost feels himself bristle at the thought. But, even that feels unreasonable with Solomon's actions, and he decides he simply feels tired.
Things will never turn to what they will be, and the void within his heart feels deeper for it. The warmth of that hand feels painfully dizzying even if he knows it will be temporary; and he thinks he might have simply smiled, in the past and agreed, moving past the subject.
For once, he feels himself lean tentatively into comfort, laid gentle upon him by Solomon's hand, by those simple words.) ]
Mm.
I suppose you would be correct.
[ Jing Yuan says, though it feels like he's a little distant from where he is when he does. The story doesn't end there. Because of course it doesn't.
Anyone he considered dear to him at that time had all been gone, and the weight of the remembrance of that loneliness feels suffocating. ]
It is a weight that seems inevitable. Perhaps...time and time again, given that it is my turn to pass onto teachings myself. Though, it might be unreasonable to hope that my own student might never have to face the difficult choice I had done so alone.
But, if he must, then so he shall.
...Even if it means that for certain, not everyone should have to walk along a path so solitary at every turn. That is what you have been doing even now, since you have been out here for quite awhile yourself, is it not?