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lunaecalamitas2024-05-10 12:41 pm
fallingsand) wrote in lunaecalamitas2024-05-10 12:41 pm
the beach episode (dated before the east mission)
There's a small slice of sandy beach between mountains and wasteland, where the South meets Central, only an inlet of ocean between them, and that is where Bruno has decided to set up camp.
Literally.
He only had a simple tent and supplies for two initially. Tatara had asked if he could join him on his little trip out and how could he say no? Unfortunately for him, Tatara may have decided to invite everyone else, too, so, welcome, everyone, to the beach episode and a chance to relax after a potentially rough week in the City of Rain.
The sand is warm and fine, the water isn't too chilly, and scrubby little palm trees and plant life dot the dunes. Sea birds are the most active wildlife out here, not counting whatever fish can be found dwelling in the depths of the inlet between South and Central or further out into the ocean. It's comfortable enough... unless you hate sand, that is! You don't hate sand, right?
Since Tatara's arrival, more than Bruno's humble setup can be found.
And, of course, anything the other wizards have decided to bring! Bruno wasn't expecting a party but now that it's here, he sure can't tell them not to have fun however they want.
Literally.
He only had a simple tent and supplies for two initially. Tatara had asked if he could join him on his little trip out and how could he say no? Unfortunately for him, Tatara may have decided to invite everyone else, too, so, welcome, everyone, to the beach episode and a chance to relax after a potentially rough week in the City of Rain.
The sand is warm and fine, the water isn't too chilly, and scrubby little palm trees and plant life dot the dunes. Sea birds are the most active wildlife out here, not counting whatever fish can be found dwelling in the depths of the inlet between South and Central or further out into the ocean. It's comfortable enough... unless you hate sand, that is! You don't hate sand, right?
Since Tatara's arrival, more than Bruno's humble setup can be found.
- There's food fit for a picnic and enough bottles of wine for the evening.
- In the evening, a (non-deadly) bonfire will be built and there'll be pillows to sit on for those who don't want to sit directly on the sand.
- A few colorful rough wool blankets laid out under umbrellas meant to provide shade.
- There's still only one sad-looking tent... However! Bruno's gone ahead and enchanted it so that, when one pushes the cloth flap aside and enters, they'll find a much more comfortable setup inside.
And, of course, anything the other wizards have decided to bring! Bruno wasn't expecting a party but now that it's here, he sure can't tell them not to have fun however they want.
no subject
It reminds him vaguely of a thing Solomon had asked - whether Mika could ever, really, accept forgiveness. )
... I've spent too much time knowing I'm not - alive anymore, that...
( He trails off. Is that it, exactly? This answer feels right on the surface, but it doesn't settle right in his stomach. If it were only about being used to one thing or another, he could get used to something changing, but this...
He glances at Jing Yuan again, after a time. )
... But even if that really were the case - if... that just means I have more to lose.
( And that cuts a little closer to the heart of the matter. It would be hard to accept. Scary, even. Losing people - not even his own life, but the people in it - and the chance of a future with them, all over again, is scary. )
no subject
But, with that said, Jing Yuan thinks personally he can't remain static; not with these changes happening. Though, it hardly sounds all that simple either. ]
...Is that so terrible? Having more to lose?
[ He lets out a chuckle at that, realizing how that sounds. But, he himself is used to taking risks; even if he'd never call them personal. As a General, they were simply what they are. ]
Perhaps it does sound like that, in retrospect. But, I believe it certainly is better to have something you have to protect fiercely with every part of your being, than to have nothing at all. It certainly helps make living worth it.
no subject
And that's what makes it all so painful.
His gaze falls to the fractured moonlight on the water. )
... I did have someone like that. He meant... means— everything to me.
( Yuu-chan will always mean everything to him. Of this, he feels sure. And he misses him so, so much.
But... )
... And before it was just him, we were... a whole family. ( He exhales - needlessly. ) ... And that they aren't around anymore is my fault.
( It weighs on him more than his tone of voice might suggest - but while the guilt remains, much of his other feelings about them have receded. Such is the consequence of being a vampire. )
... I don't want that to happen to anyone, or... anything else again. ( He don't know if he could come to love - and lose - people, or a landscape, or even a concept of something dear. ) I don't think I could take it.
no subject
He waits for Mika to say something, gaze focused on the other as he watches the image of moonlight flicker atop the ocean. ]
Because of your circumstances, you mean?
Or, do you believe it was because of your actions?
[ But, he pauses, taking care in his response about the rest. ]
Either way, losing those that are important to you is never easy. I cannot blame you for never wanting to experience that again.
I would never wish for that kind of outcome for myself either.
no subject
( Mika laughs, faintly wry, in agreement. It's the price you pay for having these feelings of care, don't you?
And yet an existence without such feeling - the empty reality of a vampire - is that much scarier; that much worse. )
... I always hurt the things I love, in the end. I don't think that has to do with being a vampire. That's just... me. ( The common factor in all his dead relationships... ) ... Losing my feelings for them would be easier. I wouldn't even notice. It's like dying in your sleep.
( He hadn't realized he'd lost so much of his feelings toward his parents and the orphans until something drew attention to it. He was horrified - recognizing his loss; but he didn't feel anything missing. He didn't feel anything at all, about much of them. )
... But I think if you asked anyone... If I asked you - they wouldn't want to lose how they feel. Even if it meant it'd be less painful. Right?
no subject
Emotional pain to that degree is something no one wants to experience.
Though, he does find it unfortunate Mika seems to be used to hurting those he loves and cares about. Jing Yuan has to wonder if there are extenuating circumstances, but he doesn't think it impossible in normal ones either. ]
That's how it is.
That innate, irrefutable desire to hold onto those feelings can never be denied. So, for you being able to have a chance to obtain them again...I'd say that is an opportunity that should be treasured.
Even if it does lead to pain. As it can certainly still lead to joy too.
[ And the ability to know how to truly cherish so many things in life. Including loved ones, beyond dulled emotions. ]
no subject
( Jing Yuan always lays things out like they're simple, and it's weird, because - they hardly seem so simple when Mika thinks on them. His head is always a tangled mess.
Still, it's not so easy to resolve to accept this possible change in him. He's going to have to think on it more, he thinks; brace himself, and his heart, and think over loss. )
... Has that been your experience? Pain, and joy?
no subject
He doesn't know what to say to that initial comment, apparently. Though, if his words can help so that instead of meeting resistance, they can be mulled upon, that to him will be enough.
At the question sent his way, because he sees no reason to evade it, he provides an answer: ]
Yes. Even I have experienced that.
Not like yourself, of course, since one's individual experiences tend to be different. But it would be silly and foolish to deny that time has not exacted any sort of losses or gains upon myself.
Even if I would rather not experience such pains, it seems joys cannot be reached without them.
[ Though, truthfully, he thinks for himself...the personal 'gains' seem to have become farther outside of his reach as time goes on. ]
no subject
( A genuine question, at least - or perhaps a remark as to Jing Yuan's vagarities. )
... I don't know if I'd ever want someone to share my experience. Even if it meant they could understand me.
( He may struggle with sympathy, but he's not cruel - this fate is not something he would inflict on others. Jing Yuan could be privy to his own joy and his own sorrow - things Mika surely could not understand, either.
But even if there will always be this gap between himself and others - between any two people - there is... this effort at speech. Mika isn't sure how much it's worth, but it is something. More than what he had in Sanguiem, where he nearly didn't speak a word to anyone for years. )
no subject
[ There are likely those out there who have experienced joys without pains. But in that sense, can they truly have experienced joy if they have yet to experience pain? Though he prefers not to think like that, his mind is a bit more darker in certain ways than some, perhaps. ]
Considering you seem to have gone through quite a bit, I do not blame you. To experience pain in great magnitude and to desire others to do so is not a kind thought. And you do not strike me as someone to be so deliberately unkind in that manner.
[ Which isn't something he can say of everyone, really. ]