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lunaecalamitas2024-05-10 12:41 pm
fallingsand) wrote in lunaecalamitas2024-05-10 12:41 pm
the beach episode (dated before the east mission)
There's a small slice of sandy beach between mountains and wasteland, where the South meets Central, only an inlet of ocean between them, and that is where Bruno has decided to set up camp.
Literally.
He only had a simple tent and supplies for two initially. Tatara had asked if he could join him on his little trip out and how could he say no? Unfortunately for him, Tatara may have decided to invite everyone else, too, so, welcome, everyone, to the beach episode and a chance to relax after a potentially rough week in the City of Rain.
The sand is warm and fine, the water isn't too chilly, and scrubby little palm trees and plant life dot the dunes. Sea birds are the most active wildlife out here, not counting whatever fish can be found dwelling in the depths of the inlet between South and Central or further out into the ocean. It's comfortable enough... unless you hate sand, that is! You don't hate sand, right?
Since Tatara's arrival, more than Bruno's humble setup can be found.
And, of course, anything the other wizards have decided to bring! Bruno wasn't expecting a party but now that it's here, he sure can't tell them not to have fun however they want.
Literally.
He only had a simple tent and supplies for two initially. Tatara had asked if he could join him on his little trip out and how could he say no? Unfortunately for him, Tatara may have decided to invite everyone else, too, so, welcome, everyone, to the beach episode and a chance to relax after a potentially rough week in the City of Rain.
The sand is warm and fine, the water isn't too chilly, and scrubby little palm trees and plant life dot the dunes. Sea birds are the most active wildlife out here, not counting whatever fish can be found dwelling in the depths of the inlet between South and Central or further out into the ocean. It's comfortable enough... unless you hate sand, that is! You don't hate sand, right?
Since Tatara's arrival, more than Bruno's humble setup can be found.
- There's food fit for a picnic and enough bottles of wine for the evening.
- In the evening, a (non-deadly) bonfire will be built and there'll be pillows to sit on for those who don't want to sit directly on the sand.
- A few colorful rough wool blankets laid out under umbrellas meant to provide shade.
- There's still only one sad-looking tent... However! Bruno's gone ahead and enchanted it so that, when one pushes the cloth flap aside and enters, they'll find a much more comfortable setup inside.
And, of course, anything the other wizards have decided to bring! Bruno wasn't expecting a party but now that it's here, he sure can't tell them not to have fun however they want.
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... If you compare us to your dad and your mom, I'm going to get the wrong idea...
( Mika, )
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… What’s the wrong idea?
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His fingers curl in slightly. )
... That you... Because your parents love each other so much— that you'd see me with...
( "... that kind of love," he means, but hesitates to add. )
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(But when he heard that sweet laugh, he knew. Not all of it; the shape of what he feels for Mika still largely amorphously love. The center of it, however, is shifting into a dense, beating core - pulling him in.)
Wistfulness edges his smile and he opens his mouth to - confess? The words almost form, but, no, he’s such a coward. It’s past the tip of his tongue, solid enough that he can grit his teeth on it. Still, he doesn’t say. ]
… Can’t I…?
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There are things he should feel—
One, that he isn't deserving of love - at all. That Ginger loves him in any general sense is more than he deserves. That he would love him more is—
Two, that he is - dead, dead twice over, and that Ginger needs - deserves a better future with someone just as live, just as passionate and full of feeling—
Three, that Mika is awful, that there is blood on his hands, that he will, surely, turn on Ginger, and fail him—
Four, that Rum—
There are things he should feel, and will think, and will ruminate on endlessly, endlessly, until it exhausts him and, if he's lucky, the exhaustion will kill him and spare him from his own thoughts.
But the first thing he feels in this moment is not those things, though they will come in its wake soon enough. The first thing he feels - is a warm and resonant spark in his chest. It's something he hasn't felt in a long time. And feels—
maybe—
some small, voiceless part of him— asks,
can't I, too? )
... I—
( And then the wake comes, and with it comes the worry. Are you sure? - a fear, for Ginger. Of ruining him. Of making him unhappy. A wondering whether - he could see Ginger like that, in turn. Can he see Ginger like that? Could he see Ginger... like maybe and his mom and dad saw each other, before Mika was born?
Or would he— do to him like he did to them? His father always drinking; his mother, a mess. Oh, that fear grips his dead heart with its claws. The irreconcilable truth that he is the constant factor in every harm that's come to his loved ones in his life. (The scent of the children's blood; the knife in his hands...)
And yet,
he thinks,
he wants to say yes.
(How selfish.)
But he— wants to do right, this time. He wants to do right by someone. He wants to do right by Ginger. Is it too late to hope he can?
Is he allowed? )
... What if I can't make you happy?
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It already hurts - wondering if I’m enough to make you happy. Just - loving you, in general.
[ When there is so much fear and despair in a question that his voice shakes around it like a raw laugh. ]
But - that’s how I know, I think, that my feelings are real. Because they rub me raw. They’re not… perfect.
[ The beating core, a thing with feathers sits waiting. ]
And if. I’m wondering what if I can’t make you happy - doesn’t that mean I know somewhere - that my heart knows - there’s a chance making you happy, making you the happiest is a possibility, too?
[ He is so close to saying it. He can feel the words crowding to escape. Why is I might be in love with you so much harder than I love you, I love you? ]
I can’t be happy all the time. But I can be happy with you.
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... Gently, Mika lets go of his sleeves, and - as if afraid of breaking him, of breaking Ginger, so fragile and so lovely and so much like the pulsing heart of a chest split open, he so carefully lifts his hands... and he cups Ginger's precious face in his hands. )
... You already make me happy.
( He meets his eyes, seeming like - he's searching for - a chance, a sign that maybe he should pull away, for Ginger's sake. But what struggle he finds, he doesn't... think he sees wavering.)
... So happy, it... scares me. I thought I didn't have anything else to lose.
( And then came Ginger, sad and earnest and all the same easy on the heart, tender in his hands, and bright - in the way the sun sets. Not blinding, like Yuu - a different sort of warmth. Warm enough to keep the cold at bay, like a rainy day under the covers.
And if he does the same for Ginger - even a tenth of that - enough to balance out the raw scrapes Ginger feels loving him - even though anything he could do for Ginger is surely, nowhere enough for what he deserves...
... )
... Can I... kiss you?
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And in the water, the ripples of them look like they belong - together. ]
Yours to kiss.
[ And if he could make Mika a little happier, if he could manage to say a fraction of what he feels -
… ]
I’m - falling, Mika.
[ Before lips meet - if they do - will Mika understand these words of his? ]
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(It won't be. But - for just this moment - if he's allowed, if it's okay - can he live here, calf-high in the water, between horizon and shore, their feelings unsettled, fumbling and together?)
Is this really just a little more than family? Or is it, maybe... )
... I...
( Their lips do meet. Something light, but lingering - understanding, he thinks, a little more... how he feels, kissing Ginger while thinking Ginger might— like him, so strongly.
It's true he doesn't understand - why him; he doesn't feel confident in their future; he thinks Ginger deserves so much better; he's scared of the day that, maybe, he gets to be with Ginger long enough to see him find Rum again, and see how much brighter his face lights up.
Should he stop them here? Should he tell Ginger - this has to be enough, for your sake, and not mine? While Mika still remembers to think of Ginger's needs, instead of his own - before Mika grows so, so selfish, and starts to think that he can't survive without Ginger being so tender with him.
When their lips part, he doesn't pull away. He thinks... he should slow them here; he should ask Ginger to reassess. He should, but what spills from his lips instead, so quiet it's nearly drowned out by the gentle roar of a coming wave: )
... I think I might be, too.
( Something different; something new.
Even though... a vampire shouldn't be able to, surely - even though his chest is still, and yet it still feels like something thrums so heavy in his chest. )
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[ Feel the same. The soft joy in Ginger’s voice is sunburst sadness. Because everything is the same he thinks: the elation of the person he’s in love with, being in love with him; Rum and Yuu as lovingly inescapable reminders of what made them; their many layers of unpeeled worries and insecurities and he-can-do-betters, a protective shell around love that is the other person.
Despite the insecurities, Mika makes him so, so happy.
(Oh, Ginger realizes vaguely, there should be two in there. Not one.)
This time it’s Ginger’s turn to kiss him, hoping Mika will press back like he had into Mika’s kiss, accepting and giving back, hoping they never turn from each other. It’s soft and coaxing, like a plea for keep their lips aligned for that much longer, just a moment more of this sweetness. And as they indulge, his hands slip under the white, zip-up hoodie and run up Mika’s sides, slow like he’s not quite sure what he’s doing, just that he wants - touch. Only Mika’s.
When he needs to breathe and Mika doesn’t, Ginger pulls back. He wants - he wets his bottom lip nervously. He thinks action might speak better than his coward mouth could. So, he wants to see if - ]
… Can you… [ Out here? Out in public? Yeah, it feels like they’re the only two in the world anyway. Everyone else silenced by the sound of Mika’s laugh. ] … open your mouth?
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But he knows whatever he feels when he kisses Ginger is true. Hands falling from Ginger's arms to catch either side of his open shirt, he hopes that maybe if he kisses Ginger enough, it'll convey what he feels better than his words can.
And he hopes that Ginger will want to keep kissing him. Will want to keep touching him - Ginger's touch warm as they run up the sides of his body, and yet it makes him shiver. A good kind, he thinks. (It's always good, with Ginger.) He tugs his shirt gently, a mix between saying more and closer.
Mika chases briefly when Ginger's lips part from his, but he doesn't stop him from breaking off. And when he asks Mika to open his mouth - he doesn't seem to know where Ginger's leading, but he does part his lips wider - tongue and fangs visible enough - with an expression that seems to ask like this? )
a lil nsfw
Ginger's lips part and when they kiss this time, it's open and damp with his breath, the heat of him warming what air that has been caught by Mika's words in lieu of breathing. The hot and tingling press of their lips stay any doubts he feels about this decision - to show instead of say. (The questions can come later, because how can he focus on them now, with Mika tugging on his shirt in urging, silent requests. Mika comes first.) As he pulls back - briefly - his breathes in Mika, taking. Greedy.
And his arms are free now once Mika lets go - for one hand to travel around and up to Mika's face, thumb brushing his lower lip in the scant space between them. It presses in lightly, then moves down to his chin as the rest of his fingers skim up the line of his jaw until Mika's love-flushed face is in a caress. His hold shifts and it's a gentle grip; he tilts Mika's jaw up and dives in to devour. Because there's still more, there's still closer.
His tongue seeks Mika's as their lips seal - lightly, a first taste, shocking and wet and it's as sweet as the loveliest sin. One taste, and he knows it has him. But there's the rest of Mika's mouth to explore - and he intends to. It's their first time kissing like this, but he's been here before; his blood, pooling - on Mika's tongue, his teeth, the soft skin of his cheek, the roof of his mouth, everywhere. His tongue sweeps over every soft slick crevice, careful over sharp canines, chasing and claiming - like he intends to eat Mika from the inside out and fill him back up with only air provided by Ginger's lungs. It's a long, slow process.
He pulls back in the same way Mika does after a good meal, reluctant, already craving the next bite - the next serving. ]
... Mm. Okay, Mika? Did that - feel like... [ He pauses, sweetness still on his lips. ] That's a little of what I feel. Always - more, always... want deeper.
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It felt at once raw and vulnerable and exciting, and Ginger's taste and sensation doesn't leave when he finally pulls away. It lingers - it lingers like his blood on his lips, savored on his tongue, but more - more...
His gaze half-lidded, his eyes flit up, his lips parting with a gentle ah... - as if caught in a daydream. )
... "A little"...
( If this was just the tip, how deep does it go? Deeper, he thinks, than he had even thought - the things Ginger had said on love and desire beginning to make a little more sense, even if he still doesn't know the whole of it. And it'd felt...
Slowly, he presses his palm to the back of the hand at his cheek, his fingers curling in as he keeps it steady - because he turns his face into Ginger's palm, lips parted, fangs slightly teething the surface.
His gaze turns to Ginger, a flicker, maybe of - anticipation - curiosity? - in his eyes. )
... Can you show me? ( A soft murmur into his palm, fangs scraping light where his fingers begin. ) ... More of... how you feel. How deep you feel it.
( And he trusts Ginger. Ginger holds back so much - maybe too much - but even if it might be a lot, Mika feels less nervous exploring it. Like with their little kisses, he's curious - if this is how Ginger feels, he thinks... he wants to know more of its taste, even if it means Ginger devours him. )
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God. ]
Not - in public. I think I’ll lose my mind if anyone sees you like this.
[ He had a hand in this, but - listen, in his defense, he’s just a fool in love. And it had felt like they were in their own world for a very hot minute. It’s so easy to get lost in Mika.
The hand on Mika’s side settles more firmly on his back, long fingers running over the knobs of his spine in short, pondering strokes. ]
Your room or mine? Or, uh, somewhere… more private… at least. [ Ginger could fly them, though he wishes he had Lego’s teleportation ability. These swim trunks don’t hide much. ] And after - if we can, let’s come back? I want to walk down the beach with you.
Um, holding hands. Like a date.
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And now all he's going to think about is the last thing Ginger said. A date - a date... Mika's face is steaming. Is he allowed to be so happy? )
... I'd... like that. ( Holding hands. A date. He almost - almost - forgets about all the stuff Ginger says before that. ) We should do that more.
( Dates...!!
His brain is all tangled up in this idea of maybe falling, in the feeling of Ginger's fingers tracing his spine, something that makes him feel strange and nice and inhale softly, and he thinks that - Ginger is really good at these things; this sort of idle touch. Mika... wants to touch him more, too.
Yuu-chan wasn't his, but maybe Ginger... (No, don't get carried away now. Just appreciate what you have, for now.)
... He presses a kiss to Ginger's palm, turning his hand around in his so they're holding hands, fingers intertwined between them. )
... I think there's a town that's closer. We can just go into an inn room that isn't taken.
( Is Mika suggesting a little a crime? Maybe so. He has a money pouch from some job. It's fine. He can drop a few coins on the bed for the owner when they leave if it bothers Ginger. )
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[ And - it looks like he’ll be flying them.
Riding a broom right now does not sound fun with his little big problem (no matter what the wizard fanfics say) and Ginger is prepared to think pure (ish) thoughts until they get to - wherever…. The way Mika’s hair frames the sides of his face and curl away just so - that’s cute, he can think about that. And by the time they’re in the air, he can think about the flyaway wisps.
The possibility of them breaking into an inn escapes him completely, his mind only allowing thoughts of Mika to enter.
(Don’t think about what they might be doing in an inn room together.)
(Or how far they’ll go tonight, when Mika’s face is lovely in red. Ginger wants to see it travel to his ears, to his neck, down… his chest - )
(Ginger, do not. Think.)
Bringing their hands to his lips, back to chaste kisses, takes zero thoughts. As is the way he then moves to place Mika’s arm around his shoulder to prepare for flight. Bridal carry seems… appropriate… if -
(DON’T.) ]
Um - we’ll… use your ears to decide - on the place…
[ He’ll wait for Mika’s okay before picking up him. ]
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... Yeah. I'll find somewhere quiet.
( He'll wrap his arms around Ginger's neck, even if Ginger only offers his shoulder. He seems fine with a carry - bridal carry, even. It's a bit embarrassing, but he thinks he'd rather be closer to Ginger in this position than not.
He'll press a light kiss to Ginger in turn - pressed along the neck, near where it meets the jaw. Close is good for reasons like this. )
Let's go.
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(Or…?)
It doesn’t help his problem, but it’s so minor next to the warmth of Mika’s affection. For the first time in a long time, he understands where his dad was coming from and what his dad let go of to be with his mom. (Let go, he knows now - not gave up, because he still had everything he wanted in her smile. Maybe Ginger has forgiven him at last.)
His wings materialize black, the reds hardly visible except in the water’s reflection. They flap once, then twice before expanding wide. The next beat pushes the water away from his feet and allows a clean ascent into the darkening sky. And all the while, he holds Mika (important; irreplaceable; everything) securely in his arms. ]
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He remembers vaguely a town he passed on the way to the beach - he figures the others probably passed it, too. If Ginger doesn't seem to be going in the general way of town lights soon enough, he'll point him in the right direction. )
... Would it distract you if I kissed you here?
( Not necessarily on the lips, but. It feels like it's just the two of them up here... and it sorta is. But at least he's sensible enough to ask, and he's willing to be patient if the answer is yes. But a little like that time he was hungry and couldn't keep from teething Ginger while Ginger was gliding them a little quicker to his room, maybe there is a part of Mika - the voracious part of him that he's stuck with now - that is a little gluttonous; a little impatient, if allowed to be. )
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Yes. [ But it’s said at the tail end of a light laugh that gets lost in the wind. It would be absolutely distracting. ] But - I can’t deny myself your kisses tonight, so do it anyway. I’ll never drop you.
[ Close to making it a promise, but he’s getting better at rewording what he wants to say. ]
And… I’m happy you didn’t ask if it was okay to.
[ This is probably the general direction, and in the far distance, he thinks he sees light. ]
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... I guess I'm just getting used to kissing you.
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[ He slows to a hover.
Just one would be less distracting, but Ginger makes his own troubles - has done so all his life and will not be stopping now. He turns his head to chase Mika’s lips for a warm kiss.
Technically, they are alone up here - and far away enough by now that the beach-goers can’t perceive them. Hopefully. ]
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He wants to be good - responsible, even. They're in the air, so he knows even one kiss was a huge indulgence, and one he probably shouldn't have taken. He's usually firmer about these things. He's usually a lot more serious. But he feels... this much more relaxed with Ginger. Like he can unknot his shoulders, and maybe relax, and things might be okay.
So he hesitates, he thinks maybe he should break it here, but - he trusts Ginger (maybe he should not trust Ginger on this right now), so he ... kisses back, in that sweet way that they've been kissing since the start. But,
before its natural break, he takes a little thing he's learned from Ginger - that maybe Ginger pulled from him, in the way they mirror each other in these little ways - and he licks at Ginger's lips, as if to ask for entry. Not now; he doesn't seem to move toward it, but - it's a tease. A suggestion? An implication for soon. And maybe he was curious... what Ginger's lips taste like on his tongue, and he couldn't help but want to try. )
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His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip - to maybe taste whatever remains of Mika on his skin. ]
… Um… [ His eyes goes back to Mika’s lips and he thinks: what if - right now - right here…? But he couldn’t, not if this will be their first time doing - whatever. A whole lot of kissing he knows - and tasting? And… skin? Touching…? Holy hell. ] Uh. Okay, hold on tight because I’m about to break speeding limits.
[ And then he laughs because this is ridiculous. There’s no doubt he’s so in love. He actually drops them a couple of feet, ducking below the gentle wind currents brushing past them, to fly faster. ]
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I'll kiss you deeper on the way back, when you least expect it. ( And now Ginger will anticipate it. But they will be coming back!! They have a date to make, after all. ) And if you drop me when I do, I'll never let you live it down.
( Ginger would probably cry if he drops him, but Mika would only laugh. )
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